Sunday, January 15, 2017

Empty Nest

My home is very much like this empty nest Dustin found in the woods behind our house.  A simple home built between sharp, dangerous thorns, well camouflaged but hidden in plain sight. Ordinary, yet special.  Surrounded by a hostile world, beaten by so many storms yet enduring to protect the little ones as they grew.

The boys are packing to leave to return to their lives.  Joshua is staying with Nana in the big city until his new job becomes permanent.  Reese graduated from college in December and is beginning an out of town one-year internship.  Dustin is returning to his apartment for another semester of college.  My nest will be completely empty for the very first time.  Our home has been like Grand Central Station the last few years.  One moves out for college/job, while another is returning, then he leaves for college/job, and another replaces him;  but this time it is different.  I feel the loss.

I felt this way when each one left for kindergarten.  I collapsed then, and I feel another collapse coming.  I have called my best friend, to be here when "it" happens when the last one leaves. She was with me when they left for kindergarten and she will be here now.  Support will be necessary.

She will arrive all smiles and warmth then marvel at how much stuff can be shoved into a compact car.  When the cars pull out of the drive, my tears will start flowing.  She will sit beside me, rubbing my back until I calm. Words will not be necessary.  She will stay as long as needed.  My best friend. Then she will say the words I need to hear to cheer me up and make the dark clouds go away.

Let's go to an all-you-can-eat restaurant and pig out!

Yes, she knows me too well.


  1. I love the bird nest. That must be a kind of bird we don't have here in Oregon, or I just haven't seen one like it before.

    I'm sure it will be hard to have everyone gone. I can't even imagine. I have had someone in the house for over 30 years, non-stop. I still have quite a few years to go. There are times when I LONG for peace and quiet and time to do some projects, but I know myself well and know it doesn't take very many hours for things to seem very, very quiet. I'll bet you have a long list of projects and things to work on, though. The buffet seems like a GREAT idea. Maybe you can go every day for a while:) :)

    1. I have no idea what type of tiny bird built that nest nor why it would be so low to the ground. Obviously they know what they are doing since it is still standing.

      Right now the boys are packing up; everything is piled high on the living room floor. I feel like the dog who is chasing a car, frantically running at full speed, then the car stops. What do I do now?

      Perhaps a daily that it is only two people? Would it be cheaper than me cooking??? Hmmm.

  2. And what would we do without that particular best friend ... she IS the best friend that anyone could ever ask or hope for. I'm thankful you have her ... and we have YOU!! pjr

    1. Yes, she is the world's best friend. She came yesterday, after she spent the earlier part of the day at a funeral. A funeral, would have wiped me out emotionally, but not her. She pulled in the drive as the boys were loading up and pulling out. They hugged me and tried to hide their snickers as I cried. Men just don't get it. Then we came inside and I whined all evening.

      She even brought a gift for me. A big box of old canning jars that were donated to her husband's workplace and he brought them home for me!!! FREE CANNING JARS!!! A friend can't be better than that.

      Today the house is so quiet, too quiet, well, except for the telemarketers calling. I miss the boys being here to HANG UP ON THEM!
      A note to my international followers: Telemarketers are companies who call you on the phone CONSTANTLY, trying to sell you junk, making you stop whatever you are doing, walk to the phone to answer their calls. I don't know if other countries have trouble with them, but here in the U.S. they are a curse!

      Yes, I am still in a bad mood.

  3. My daughter went away to collage and I cried like a baby every time we dropped her off. Last year she moved out of state and when we were getting ready to leave after we helped her move in, we both looked at each other and started crying. Then my youngest daughter started crying too. My daughter's boyfriend looked at us and said "Why are you crying? She has been away more the last 4 years then home." My husband walked him outside and explained. It was a very long 6 hour drive home. They did come home for Christmas and we both cried when she left. Her boyfriend just shook his head this time. He is learning that we are very close.
    Know that you did a great job raising your boys. Our jobs as parents are to raise great adults. I'm proud to say one down 2 teenagers to go. I will cry over all of them. As moms we have that right.

    1. THANK YOU Marybeth. It is great that your husband "explained" it to your daughter's boyfriend. Older men need to teach the complexities of women to younger men. It makes life better for us all.

      Yes, they will come back but it will feel like a "visit." I know they are all where they need to be and I am proud of them.

      You have my permission to go ahead and cry over all of them and cry all you want to. I AM!