Monday, December 26, 2016

Santa Brought Me an Armadillo!


And I bet you thought I was on his naughty list.  Nope. She was on Santa's naughty list because of all the holes she has dug in my garden.  Mrs. Monster arrived in her armoured vehicle to seize the garden on Christmas Eve and was finally caught!  This is a little of what she did! Shame. Shame. Shame.


We have been at war for months which began with this message Something Pretty, Something Putrid, and Something Pretty Putrid . She did not learn from her husband's mistakes.  Oh, no, no.   MRS. MONSTER HAS RETURNED!!!!!!!  and kept misbehaving.

I knew she would be watching me in the mornings in the garden while I was hoeing dirt back into the holes she had dug during the night.  She was laughing at me while she watched me atop her perch on the fence post as she planned where she was going to dig next.  


Sometimes she would hide in a tree thinking I did not know she was there; but I did.  I was not the only one she was mean to. 


She would also sneak up into the deer stand and make fun of the deer while they were brushing their fur for their blog photo shoots and yell out - Shoot Me! I Dare You!


And when they least expected it, she would bound from her perch toward the deer startling them and mess up their fur so they would have to brush it all over again.  Mrs. Monster, really was a monster.


She would be mean to Scooter, calling him names and making him cry.  He can't help it if he is scaredy-cat dog. He stuck out his tongue at her to show he was not afraid of her!  Now he is being naughty because of her!  My, my, my.  What are we to do?


"I promise to be good," Mrs. Monster lied.  "I will change and be more like the deer, grow antlers and everything."

No, Mrs. Monster.  You do not fool us with your lies.  We have sent you to the North Pole to stay!

RIP

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:  An armadillo was harmed severely in the making of this post.  Setting up a dead animal carcass all over the yard and taking pictures must be on the crazy list;  although, blogging about it might be even crazier.  I suppose city folk just don't understand country folk.  Can't say as I blame you.

Joking aside, it was a quick, humane kill.  Bill walked out to the far area of the yard in the middle of the night to make sure she died quickly.  No creature of God should have to suffer needlessly.

7 comments:

  1. Man those suckers are ugly! Funny post!

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    1. They are meaner than they are ugly! I hope they are finally ALL gone.

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  2. Although we moved to the city, I am still a country girl at heart. I found the post really funny an cute. We don't have armadillos here, but I think I should be thankful for that! Glad it's gone!

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    1. They are still migrating I have read, but I am ready for them to migrate BACK to wherever they came from. Hopefully this one stays at the north pole!

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  3. I hate those critters! They have infiltrated our neck of the woods. Not only do we see dead possums in the middle of the road, we now see dead armadillos. We are in NY Ga.

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  4. That should be Northwest Ga not New York Ga.

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    Replies
    1. Oh my. In my research I saw them referred to as "hillybilly speed bumps." I laughed. Why slow down?

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